Deployments just plain suck. I don't know how else to describe it. My brain just shuts down when I try to think about all the things that I have to do on my own. I sort of feel like I go into zombie mode and I am simply surviving.
There are days where I feel like a crappy mom and I am short on patience. There are days when I feel like there are not enough hours in the day to spend time and give them the attention they need, that they deserve. There are days when I just want to crawl in bed and not get out.
Then there are days where I wonder how did I get this lucky. There are days when I feel lonely but I am not in that Rick's love for us isn't something that I know, it is something that I can feel. Sort of like how the wind blows, you can't see it but you can feel it.
There are days that I am sad, but sad because Rick isn't there to see Alyssa take her monkeys hand and make him wave. To see Alyssa randomly hug Katelyn. To hear Katelyn sing her ABC's while hopping like a bunny rabbit through Target.
Despite being separated, we are lucky, we are blessed with a healthy family and I couldn't ask for more.
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